The Coronation of a Deceased Queen: A Mini-Essay

     In the summer of 1360, Portugal witnessed the bizarre coronation of its new queen, Inez Pires de Castro. In the sweltering heat, the bewildered crowd watched as Inez was disinterred from her grave and held upright in her throne, the crown placed atop her lifeless head and the scepter nestled in her limp hands. It was a morbid moment in history which has relived itself in art, literature, music, and theater for centuries: from Luís Vaz de Camões’s epic poem Os Lusíadas (1572) and António Ferreira’s tragedy A Castro (1587) to Thomas Pasatieri’s opera Ines de Castro (1976) and Pedro Camacho’s composition “Requiem to Ines de Castro” (2012). Despite its dramatic imagery, though, many debate the truth behind this odd incident.
     In 1336, a marriage was arranged between Dom Pedro, the son of King Alfonso IV and Queen Beatriz, and Constança, the daughter of the duke of Peñafiel. As was customary during the time, the union was a political contract meant to solidify relations between Galicia and Portugal. It is unknown whether the couple shared any amorous feelings toward each other; however, it is well documented that Dom Pedro had a torrid love affair with Constança’s cousin, Inez. While similar relationships were kept hidden behind palace doors, Dom Pedro and Inez made no efforts to conceal their feelings. Inez was moved into the court as a concubine and the couple had four illegitimate children. The affair’s notoriety, in turn, made a mockery of King Alfonso’s court, strained relationships between Galicia and Portugal, and gave Inez’s family, the Castros, unwarranted power and aristocratic status. In 1355, Alfonso – at the request of the chief justice of the kingdom and two other advisors – had Inez assassinated and her body unceremoniously buried in the monastery of Santa Clara de Coimbra. The incensed Dom Pedro quickly retaliated and, with the aid of Inez’s brothers, prompted a civil war. With Alfonso’s death in 1357, Dom Pedro was crowned king of Portugal and, in 1360, he enacted a series of efforts to legitimize Inez’s standing as his queen, including public proclamations that he and Inez had been secretly married in 1354 and her posthumous coronation. In fact, it is during the latter event that historic fact and artistic myth diverge. 
     Was Inez truly removed from her grave and ceremoniously crowned queen of Portugal? As Edwin Murphy highlights, the legend emerged decades following the event and has replayed itself for centuries. Indeed, it makes for dramatic storytelling. However, history proves otherwise. In Cronica de el-Rei D. Pedro I (1434), Fernão Lopez, the royal archivist of Portugal from 1418 until 1454, confirms that Inez was removed from her grave at Santa Clara and transported by men of noble birth via a candlelit vigil to the monastery of Alcobaça – the resting place of Portugal’s kings and queens. Inez’s corpse, though, was never placed upon the throne and crowned queen. Rather, she was ceremoniously interred within the monastery with a scepter depicting her crowned effigy.

Works Referenced 

Lopez, Fernão. Cronica de el-Rei D. Pedro I. Portugal, 1434.

Murphy, Edwin. After the Funeral: The Posthumous Adventures of Famous Corpses. New York: Barnes and Noble, 1995.

Witch Cake

$15 - $20 (based on 2016 prices) 

Makes one cake

I enjoy converting common recipes into Halloween goodies. For this project, I took a basic marble cake and transformed it into a witchy snack using green and purple food coloring. The possibilities, though, are endless: black and orange for a traditional theme, green and orange for a pumpkin treat, black and purple for batty concoction, and so forth. You could also experiment with flavors using extracts and oils. For the time-pressed haunter who hates to cook, the process can be streamlined by using a store-bought cake mix and pre-made frosting. 

Cake

• 2 1/3 Cups flour
• 1 Tablespoon baking powder
• ¾ Teaspoon salt
• 1 ½ Cups sugar
• ½ Cup butter
• 3 Eggs
• 1 Cup milk
• 1 Teaspoon vanilla
• ½ Tablespoon green food coloring
• ½ Tablespoon purple food coloring
• Two 7.5 oz. bags of gummy worms

Frosting

• 2 ½ Sticks softened butter
• 5 Cups powdered sugar
• 1 Tablespoon vanilla
• 2 Tablespoons milk
• ½ Tablespoon green food coloring
  

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F and, in large bowl, sift together baking powder, four, salt, and sugar.

2. Add butter, eggs, milk, and vanilla to the dry ingredients and beat with a hand mixture on low for roughly three minutes or until everything is well blended.

3. Separate the batter into two bowls and add the food coloring. You want one-third of the batter in one bowl and two-thirds in another. Similarly, the larger portion will be dyed your desired base color and the smaller portion will be dyed the color you have chosen for the swirls. You may have to alter the amount of dye you use to achieve your preferred hues.

4. Pour the larger portion into two greased baking pans and glob the smaller portion on top. Using a toothpick, swirl the colors together. I found that making a rounded zigzag motion produces the best results. Be careful not to overdo the pattern, though. The more you blend, the muddier the final product will appear.

5. Bake the cake for thirty minutes or until it reaches a golden brown and a toothpick inserted within the center comes out clean.

6. As the cake cools, make the frosting. In a large bowl, beat the butter with a hand mixer until it becomes creamy. Then, gradually add food coloring, milk, vanilla, and sugar and beat until the mixture becomes fluffy. Again, you may have to alter the amount of dye you use to achieve your desired hue.

7. Assemble the cake, frosting the first layer and adding gummy worms. If you want to continue the theme, glob drops of purple food coloring to the top of the cake and use a toothpick to swirl it through the frosting. Here, too, a rounded zigzag motion works best.

8. Garnish the final version with the remaining gummy worms. You can also use plastic snakes or spiders, which can serve as party favors after the treat has been eaten.

"Of Gods and Other Men" (A Poem)

When I discovered the poetry of Richard Jones almost a decade ago, I was immediately struck by not only the melody of his verse, but the ethereal imagery he presents. With “The Haunting” (read it here), he summons the eerie sensation of a spectral-filled house and, with “Of Gods and Other Men,” he musters the ghostly figures of ancient folklore through an otherworldly incantation.

I shall tell you tales of heroes 
And gods who walked as men. 
On mountains where the wild wind blows 
Or across the darkling fen. 
I shall tell you tales that minstrels told 
Of vengeful queens and warriors bold 
Of kings who sleep and ne’er grow old 
In caves their dreams residing. 

I shall tell you tales of outlaws 
and hounds that roam the night. 
Of secret realms through hidden doors 
Where ancient giants fight. 
I shall tell you tales of long-lost lands 
Buried now ‘neath shifting sands 
Where dancing maids have long held hands 
In stone their spirits writhing.

Works Referenced 

Jones, Richard. Myths and Legends of Britain and Ireland. London: New Holland Publishers, Ltd., 2006.

Rotten Pumpkins

$30 - $40 (based on 2016 prices)

Makes ten pumpkins

I began this project with abundant ambition, planning to make several dozen pumpkins for 2016’s theme. Reality rapidly set in and these became my most detested build of the year. Because you must wait for layers to dry, the process can be excessively lengthy. Additionally, the repetitive procedure can prove tedious. If you plan to create multiple versions, give yourself sufficient time (it took me over two months to complete ten) and make it a team effort.

• Twelve standard-size newspapers
• Ten latex balloons in various sizes
• Five rolls of crepe paper streamer in black
• Four 8 oz. bottles of wood glue
• Four 8 oz. bottles of all-purpose tacky glue
• Ten paper towel/toilet paper rolls
• One roll of one-ply, white paper towels
• Three 10 oz. cans of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in fire orange
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat black
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat brown
  

1. Make the papier mache paste by mixing ½ cup of glue and ½ cup of water in a bowl. Try to use a sealable container. This gives you the ability to store the mixture for a day or two between applications. Also, to give the paste added support, use a combination of all-purpose glue and wood glue (stray away from school glue because it is washable and will dissolve in the water).

2. Inflate the balloons. If you are making multiple pumpkins, try to vary the sizes of each one. Likewise, only work on two or three at a time. Any more than this can be overwhelming.

3. Stand the balloons on sturdy bases and apply two layers of paste-soaked crepe paper to their surfaces. When the pumpkins are carved, this will create a blackened interior.

4. After the layers have dried, cut the newspapers into strips, soak them in the paste, and apply them to the balloons. To make the process more manageable, keep the strips at a reasonable size (mine were roughly six inches long and two inches wide). Similarly, only apply a few layers at a time and allow each layer to completely dry before adding more (I did two layers during each application and let them dry for twenty-four hours). Keep in mind that these props will be carved. So, you want them as sturdy as possible. A minimum of seven to eight layers will suffice; however, more is always better.

5. Once you have reached your desired thickness, cut the balloons and remove them from the papier mache shells. Be gentle during this process and gradually work the balloons out.

6. Unravel the paper towel/toilet paper rolls and cut them into the shapes of stems. Like the balloons, vary their shapes and sizes.

7. Hot glue the stems over the holes made by the balloons and give the shells one final layer of newspaper, blending the seams between the stems and the pumpkins.

8. Tear the paper towels into strips and, after soaking them in paste, cover the shells with one or two layers, creating wrinkles to make the pumpkins appear rotten. If you cannot find one-ply paper towels, simply separate the plies of multi-ply sheets. If you want the stems to have vines, soak sheets of toilet paper in the paste, twist them into strands, and wrap them around the stems.

9. After the layers have dried, transfer the pumpkins to a well-ventilated area and, on a newspaper-lined surface, give each one several even coats of fire orange. I used two coats; however, you may want more or less depending on your desired coverage.

10. Once the spray paint has dried, give the stems a few coats of brown acrylic paint (I used two).

11. To give the pumpkins a grimy appearance, water down the brown acrylic paint and brush it over their surfaces, ensuring the liquid settles into all the wrinkles (you can also use a spray bottle for the application). Allow the mixture to sit for a minute and then wipe it clean. Repeat this process with black acrylic paint on the stems. You may want to experiment with the consistency prior to doing this: the more water you add, the fainter/lighter the wash; the less water you add, the deeper/darker the wash.

12. Use a permanent marker to trace designs and faces onto your pumpkins and, with a sharp knife, cut them out. I found that a serrated blade works best. Don’t worry too much if your cuts leave part of the markings visible. The black paint in the following step will cover this up.

13. Use black paint to darken the eyes, mouths, and noses of the pumpkins. You want the areas around these openings to look singed. To achieve this, apply a heavy amount of paint along the edges and quickly swipe the brush outward. It may help to experiment with this technique on scrap paper first.

The Modern Re-Imagining of Krampus: A Mini-Essay

     Although anthropologists and folklorists continue to debate his origins – some argue he is a product of Germanic paganism while others claim he is an element of seventeenth-century legend – Krampus has become a concrete fixture of Austro-Bavarian Alpine mythology. Akin to the Norwegian utbrud, Krampus serves as a boogeyman that terrorizes individuals, particularly children, who breach customary manners and morals. A horned creature with a forked tongue and pointed fangs, Krampus accompanies Saint Nicholas during the winter season. While his benevolent companion rewards selfless souls for their kindness, Krampus punishes others for this misbehavior, rattling his chains and whipping them with a ruten (a bundle of birch branches). The event, known as Krampusnacht, occurs the evening before the Feast of Saint Nicholas and, as Delbert Gietzen highlights, the celebration varies slightly in each region (in Styria, for example, each home possesses a ruten which hangs throughout the year and is surrendered to Krampus on Krampusnacht to administer any possible punishment on the household, namely its children). Despite these minor differences, the legend is rather universal throughout the Austro-Bavarian expanse; however, as Al Ridenour emphasizes, growing popularity of the Krampus mythology, particularity within the United States, has transformed it into an unrecognizable folklore. 
     The largest perpetrator of this re-imaging, according to Ridenour, is Gerald Brom's novel Krampus. Published in 2012, the fictional tale removes the legend from its Austro-Bavarian homeland and transplants it in the Nordic countries, claiming the figure is the son of Loki and transforming his relationship with Saint Nicholas into a vicious rivalry. In fact, much of Brom's alterations resurface in a 2013 article in National Geographic, Brian Joines and Dean Kotz' graphic novel Krampus!, and the 2015 film Krampus by Legendary Entertainment. In each subsequent retelling, the misconceptions presented by Brom are elaborated upon, particularly the invented feud between Krampus and Saint Nicholas. As Ridenour highlights, the interaction between the two individuals has always been depicted as a mutual companionship; however, Brom's rendition and those which have followed dismantle this affiliation and established a bitter conflict. Similarly, Joines and Kotz' comic erroneously mistakes Saint Nicholas with Santa Claus – shifting Krampusnacht from December 5 (the eve of Saint Nicholas' Feast) to December 25 (Christmas Day) – and the film removes both Saint Nicholas and Santa Claus entirely from the legend, fashioning Krampus into a demonic version of the two who brings global death and destruction at Christmastide.
  

Works Referenced 

Basu, Tonya. "Who is Krampus? Explaining the Horrific Christmas Devil." National Geographic. December 2013.

Brom, Gerald.  Krampus: The Yule Lord. New York: Harper Voyager, 2012.

Gietzen, Delbert. The Esoteric Codex: German Folklore. Raleigh, NC: Lulu Press, Inc., 2016.

Joines, Brian and Dean Kotz. Krampus! Berkley, CA: Image Comics, Inc. 2014. 

Krampus. Dir. Michael Dougherty. Perf. Toni Collette and Adam Scott. Legendary Entertainment. 2015.

Ridenour, Al. The Krampus and the Old, Dark Christmas: Roots and Rebirth of the Folkloric Devil. Port Townsend, WA: Feral House, 2016.

Specimen Jars (Version One - Alternate)

$20 - $30 (based on 2015 prices) 

Makes three jars

I wanted to do something with an assortment of body parts which rarely fit into my haunt’s themes. I finally settled on the idea of transforming them into jarred specimens. For the majority of the project, I used larger jars and glued the labels to their surfaces (see that version here). For the smaller items, I decided to attach the labels with twine. Although the decision was primarily out of necessity (the labels were too large to adhere to the jars and hid most of the specimens), the variation added an interesting aesthetic to the entire collection.

• Three glass jars of varying sizes (you can decrease or increase this number)
• One 8 oz. can of oil-based interior wood stain in Jacobean*
• At least four tablespoons of black tea (e.g. Darjeeling, Earl Gary, English Breakfast, etc.)
• One piece of 8” x 11.5” cardstock with specimen labels printed on it
• One pan large enough to soak the cardstock
• Two to three yards of light-brown twine
• One 4 oz. bottle of all-purpose tacky glue*
• Three various body parts and/or severed limbs
  

1. On a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, paint the jars with the stain. I discovered that applying a thin coat and patting it with paper towels produces a hazed appearance. Likewise, brushing the rims and base with a swift downward motion creates the illusion of grime buildup.

2. Boil enough water to completely submerge the cardstock and pour it into the pan. Add the tea. The longer you allow the tea to brew, the darker the stain will become. Likewise, greater amounts of tea will produce a richer stain. I found that a combination of English and Irish Breakfast brewed for over ten minutes produces a nice, deep brown. Submerge the cardstock into the tea mixture and soak it until it reaches the color you desire. I soaked mine for eight hours and scattered the loose-leaf tea over the top to add spots. Remove the cardstock from the water and allow it to dry.

3. Wrap the necks of the jars with twine and knot the ends, trimming one and leaving the other with a two- or three-inch excess. To reinforce it, glue the knot.

4. After the cardstock has dried, cut out the labels, leaving a small boarder around their edges, and give your specimens names. To roughen the labels’ appearance, use sandpaper to fray their sides and create holes. Once you have achieved your desired level of distress, punch a hole into the top of the label and thread the twine through it, knotting the ends and trimming the excess.

5. You can use olive or vegetable oil to add further stains to the label. I discovered that applying a small amount of oil to your index finger and patting it on the paper works well.

6. Add the specimens to their corresponding jars, positioning them so they are prominently displayed. For this version, I elected not to use the bloodied cheesecloth; however, you may incorporate it.

*You will not use the entire bottle’s content for this project.

Creepy Doll Talismans

$35 - $40 (based on 2015 prices) 

Makes three talismans

These quickly became my favorite build for 2015’s haunt and the props which garnered the most reactions (both disgust and praise). I originally intended to use grapevine stars to fashion Blair-Witch-like figures for the voodoo alters. Creativity quickly took charge and the project headed in an unexpected – but welcomed – direction. If you cannot find stars, wreaths will work just as well. 

• Three twelve-inch vinyl dolls
• Three grapevine stars
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat black*
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat brown*
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flesh tone*
• One 8 oz. bottle of wood glue*
• Two to three yards of light-brown twine
• One 4 oz. bottle of all-purpose tacky glue*
• One 8 oz. can of oil-based interior wood stain in Golden Pecan
• One aluminum foil tray (length: 12 3/4"; width: 10 3/8"; depth: 2 9/16")
• Bones from one roasted chicken
• One ½ oz. bag of feathers

1. Dismember the dolls and remove their clothing. On a newspaper-lined surface, paint their limbs and heads black. Although I only used one coat, you may want more depending on your desired coverage. Keep in mind, though, that this is the base coat for the crackle paint and much of it will be covered up by the second layer. While I chose black, you can use a different color to tailor the props for your specific needs.

2. Once the paint has dried, use a thick brush to apply a smattering of wood glue to the props. Try not to over think your application (a random pattern produces the best results). Also, it may be easier to work with one limb at a time rather than attempting to glue and paint the entire lot at once.

3. Let the glue sit for a minute to become tacky and then cover the limbs with the flesh-tone paint. Here, too, I only used one coat; however, you may want more. As the glue and paint dry, they will form cracks, making the base coat visible.

4. Once the glue and paint have fully dried, brush a light coat of brown paint onto the props to simulate dirt. During this process, try to focus on areas where dust and grime would normally accumulate: in the lines between fingers and toes, along the creases of elbows and knees, and inside the ears and mouths. If you want to give the props a creepier appearance, cut out the eyes and darken the holes with black paint.

5. Arrange the limbs onto the stars and glue them into place. You will use the shape of the stars to form the main structure of the body, adding the heads and limbs as accentuations. To give the props further detail, mix and match the pieces, taking parts from each doll and using them to assemble a whole figure.

6. Wrap twine around the limbs and grapevines to make it appear as though the dolls have been lashed to the stars (the glue will hold them in place). Trim the excess and glue the knots to reinforce them.

7. In a well-ventilated area, pour the wood stain into the aluminum pan and submerge the chicken bones, allowing them to soak for at least twenty-four hours. You want to give the bones enough time to absorb the satin and achieve an aged and rotten appearance. Once they have reached the look you desire, remove them from the tray and allow them to fully dry (I left mine outside in the sun for two days). Helpful hint: you may want to perform this process at the beginning of the project so the bones are ready once you reach the assembly stage.

8. Glue feathers to one end of the bones and wrap twine around them, leaving enough excess to tie around the stars. Find places along the props to dangle the bones. Think of a twisted dreamcatcher or windchime.

9. To give the props additional character, glue clusters of feathers to various portions of the stars. Finish the process by wrapping twine around the base of the clusters to give the appearance that they have been lashed to the figure.

10. If the stars did not come with hanging loops, you can create your own with the extra twine, knotting the ends and gluing them for reinforcement.

*You will not use the entire bottle’s content for this project.