Withered Boards

$6 - $10 (based on 2015 prices) 

Makes twenty boards: ten 24” x 10”, eight 20” x 12”, and two 20” x 10”  

Old, weather-worn boards are a perfect means to achieve that abandoned-house look. They can be used to cover doors and windows or erect barriers to direct traffic. Using cardboard to create these props has several advantages, namely the low cost. In fact, since they’re cheap and easy to make, it’s not too disheartening if they’re damaged or stolen. Plus, the colors and degrees of distress can always be adjusted to fit your haunt.

• One 24” x 20” x 30” cardboard box
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in flat tan
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat black
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat brown
• One roll of cheap paper towels

1. Cut the cardboard into the shape and size of the boards you desire. You can distress their appearance by splintering their edges and forming holes.

2. In a well-ventilated area, lay the boards out and, holding the spray paint can roughly twelve inches away, spray them with an even coat of paint. Although I only used one coat, you may want more depending on your desired coverage. Keep in mind, though, that this is the base coat and much of the tan paint will be covered up by the darker colors.

3. Once the spray paint has dried, apply several globs of the black and brown acrylic paint to the board and, using a paper towel, smudge the paint across its surface. Don’t be discouraged if it takes you several attempts to achieve a realistic look. You may have to waste a few boards playing with your technique. For me, three methods produced the best results: smearing the paint in the same direction creates a uniform grain; adding additional paint to certain areas and gently smudging it makes nice discolorations; and applying small amounts of paint allows more of the tan color to show, giving the wood a lighter hue.

4. After you have mastered your technique, the process is rather enjoyable and you can add additional elements to give the boards further detail. Use a stipple sponge to fashion knots or a fine-tipped brush to construct worm holes.

5. Because the boards are made from lightweight cardboard, they are easy to hang with clear packaging tape. If you plan to display them outside, you may want to use duct tape to provide a stronger hold against the wind and other elements.

Crystal Ball (Version One)

$16 - $20 (based on 2012 prices)

This was my first attempt at creating a crystal ball. I wanted to give the illusion of rolling fog beneath the ball’s glimmering surface. Cotton spider webs, in turn, proved the ideal means to achieve this without introducing the complicated machinery of a fog machine. Although I used green webbing with white lights, the possibilities are endless: black webbing with orange lights, orange webbing with purple lights, or white webbing with color-changing lights. Due to this factor, the prop can be customized to fit the specific color scheme of your haunt.

• One 4.23 oz. bag of stretchable spider web in green
• One 14” strand of white LED mini Christmas lights
• One 7½” clear glass globe with 4” fitter

1. Pull apart the webbing, working at the strands of cotton. The trick to this project rests in the cotton’s consistency. The fibers will naturally distribute the light from the LEDs. You want the webbing to be thin enough to allow this distribution, yet thick enough to mask the lights and not ruin the illusion.

2. Line the inside of the globe with the webbing. It helps to buy a fixture with a larger fitter to allow your hand entrance into the bowl and enough room to easily maneuver. Also, to help the cotton stick to the glass, try brushing a light coat of all-purpose tacky glue onto the surface prior to the application. You want the final product to look like clouds of fog.

3. Bundle the strand of lights together and place it inside the globe. Because traditional Christmas lights generate an excessive amount of heat, it is important to use LEDs for this project. These newer bulbs produce far less heat and greatly reduce the risk of fire, especially considering the globe is lined with cotton.

4. Feed the electrical cord out of the globe. You may want to secure the cord along the fitter’s rim with clear adhesive tape. You can also use a battery-operated timer and hide the pack inside the ball. 
 

Swamp Hag

$60 - $75 (based on 2014 prices) 

Every yard haunter has experienced it: you see a spectacular prop online and carefully count your pennies; you eagerly place the order and impatiently wait for it to arrive; you open the package and are crushed to discover the prop holds little resemblance to the wondrous creation you saw on the website. In the past, I returned the item and lamented over what could have been. Over the years, though, I began tinkering with these disappointing orders and quickly realized that, with a little creativity and diligent work, a dopey prop can become an impressive addition to your haunt. Now, I spend the days after Halloween searching stores and websites for those discarded and overlooked items which hold tremendous potential. One of them was this elfish witch discounted nearly ninety percent. After stripping her bare, I began a two-week overhaul which produced a creepy swamp hag fit to join my coven of witches. 

• One static figure prop with metal, plastic, or wire armature 
• One hooded shroud large enough to fit the prop 
• One hot glue gun and glue sticks 
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in flat green 
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat black 
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat brown 
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat gray* 
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat red* 
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat white* 
• One 0.44 oz. bottle of clear nail polish* 
• Two to three rolls of black and/or gray creepy cloth (30”x 72” per roll) 
• One square of foam padding (18”x 18”x 1”) 
• One black and white wig at desired length

1. Strip the prop of its clothing and any accessories, removing the hands and head.

2. Using the hot glue gun, pipe vines onto the hands and face. You may want to play with the design on scraps of cardboard first, tinkering with the thickness and pattern before applying the final version to the body parts.

3. Once the glue has cooled, move the hands and head to a well-ventilated area. Holding the spray paint can roughly twelve inches away from the props, spray several even coats of green paint. I used three coats; however, you may want more or less depending on your desired coverage.

4. After allowing the paint to dry, use a fine-tipped brush to apply the brown acrylic paint to the vines. This process is painfully time consuming and a major labor of love. It took me almost a week to complete the face and both hands.

5. Add additional detail by painting the eyes white, the inside of the mouth red, the nails black, and the teeth gray. To make the eyes and mouth look glossy, apply a few coats of clear nail polished to the dried paint. If you want your hag to have a clean appearance, stop at this point and reassemble the prop, adding the shroud, creepy cloth, and some leafy vines.

6. To give your hag a grimy appearance, water down the black acrylic paint and brush it over the hands and head, ensuring the liquid settles into all the cracks and fissures (you can also use a spray bottle for the application). Allow the mixture to sit for a few minutes and then wipe it clean. You may want to experiment with the consistency prior to doing this: the more water you add, the fainter/lighter the wash; the less water you add, the deeper/darker the wash.

7. To further the hag’s dingy look, shred the ends of the hooded shroud and, with scissors, cut holes, rips, and tears into the fabric. The level of distress you choose depends on how filthy you want the hag to appear. To make the garment even more soiled, smear it with black and brown acrylic paint.

8. Using the foam padding, give the prop added bulk around the arms, back, and shoulders. You can fashion a hump by building up layers of padding on the back and gluing them together with all-purpose tacky glue. As you cut, mold, and trim the padding, you may need to dress and undress the prop several times to ensure that the clothing and padding achieve a natural look when the final product is assembled. 

9. Reassemble the prop, dressing the hag in the shroud and creepy cloth and affixing the wig to her head. You can add additional accessories – a necklace of bones, leafs glued to her shroud and hair, or patches of moss – to give the hag even more detail and a further level of grunge.

 *You will not use the entire bottle’s content for this project.

A Little Buddy Adventure: The First Day of Work

Young goblins and ghouls, let me tell you the story

about the first day of work for my friend, Little Buddy.

Some coffee he brewed for a colleague or two –

the recipe he borrowed from a witch he once knew.

Answering the phones, he came to discover,

was easy when responding, “You have the wrong number!”

The Xerox machine proved a marvelous delight:

he could effortlessly copy anything in sight!

To the breakroom he retreated as noon quickly came,

where he devoured the pizza clearly marked “Jane.”

After sampling the sandwich meant for old Mr. Kirt,

he visited the vending machine for a little dessert.

Weary from a morning of typing and faxing,

the conference room table served ideal for napping.

The stroke of five signaled the workday was done

and Little Buddy exclaimed, “Working here is fun!”