"The Phantom Mail Coach" (A Poem)

Very little is known about L.O. Welcome (the name is most likely a pseudonym). The author published two poems in the Saturday Evening Post: "The Phantom Mail Coach" on December 7, 1929, and "Transport" less than a year later on July 26, 1930. Since then, the writer has slipped into obscurity, with his/her poems being rarely republished. In fact, "The Phantom Mail Coach" appears in only two anthologies: William Cole's Poems of Magic and Spells (1960) and Lavinia Russ' Forever England (1969). Despite its scarcity, the tale is a witty account of slain coachmen who perpetually return to haunt the highway where they met their demise.

Gather up the ribbons, give the 'orn a toot!
The fares is in their places, the treasure's in the boot,
Letters for the garrison, an' all the soldiers' pay;
An' we set out from Bedford on the King's 'Ighway.

     A lead team
     A wheel team,
     A good, red bay;
     A-takin' George's letters
     Down the King's 'Ighway

My! But we was jolly! Lord! But we was fine!
Pretty Mistress Polly an' 'er sister Caroline,
With orficers in uniform  - red coats gay -
A-wooin' an' a-cooin' on the King's 'Ighway.

     A short life!
     A short life!
     And youth won't stay!
     A-flyin' like dust
     Upon the King's 'Ighway!

A little 'alt for dinner, and a little pause to sup;
"Service of 'Is Majesty!" and now the time is up!
Out upon the meadows in the duskin' o' the day
A-takin' George's treasure down the King's 'Ighway!

     A sea mist,
     A salt mist,
     A dank mist an' gray,
     An' I'd like to see it fairer
     On the King's 'Ighway!

Now, who is that! An' who is there! An' wot's wrong below?
'Ands upon the bridle bits, an' won't let go!
Time enough to scream a bit, not enough to pray,
An' so we all was murdered on the King's 'Ighway!

     For stilled tongues
     Is safe tongues -
     The dead they can't away,
     To bring King George's troopers
     Down the King's 'Ighway!

So, once in ev'ry hundred years, my lot is to ride,
With treasure and the letters and the fares inside:
An' we be only phantoms in the sea mist gray,
A-'untin' of our slayers down the King's 'Ighway.

     A lead team,
     A wheel team,
     A ghost-team gray,
     Wot can't get used to autos
     On the King's 'Ighway!

Works Referenced

Cole, William, ed. Poems of Magic and Spells. New York: World Publishing Company, 1960.

Russ, Lavinia, ed. Forever England: Poetry and Prose about England and the English. New York: Harcourt, Brace, and World, Inc., 1969. 82-84.