Julius Caesar and the Headhunting Celts: A Mini-Essay

     In the summers of 55 and 54 B.C.E., Julius Caesar launched two unsuccessful attempts to invade Britain and conquer its Celtic inhabitants (almost a century after his efforts, Emperor Claudius, possessing an army of 40,000 men, brought the island under Roman rule).[1] Although severe storms, failed support for his cavalry, and violent resistance from the Celts contributed to the fiascos, Caesar and those who chronicled his ventures returned with a colorful image of Britain and its people. Throughout the empire, particularly Rome, the reading populace was enthralled by these accounts and the strange world they presented. Some elements, such as the Celtic belief in reincarnation and the process of burning letters on funeral pyres for the deceased to deliver to the dead, seemed entirely foreign to the Roman population, especially since their own perspectives on death did not consider rebirth.[2] Others, particularly the graphic descriptions of headhunting and human scarifies presented in the reports of Caesar and Diodorus Siculus, mortified society and they developed a voracious appetite for information regarding this distant land’s peculiar rituals. In the texts of Diodorus and Strabo, Romans learned about the massive man-shaped wickerworks which were stuffed with cattle and humans and set ablaze as sacrifices to the gods.[3] In the works of Caesar and Diodorus, they grimaced at how Celtic tribes, believing that possession of an individual’s head gave the possessor control of their spirit, decapitated their enemies during battle and embalmed their craniums to display in chests.[4] And, within the descriptions penned by Caesar himself, stunned readers discovered that, at the heart of all this bloodshed, were the Druid priests, whose ultimate power over the Celtic people made them arbitrators of the spiritual realm and judges to earthly concerns.[5] It was a series of graphic images and it fed the imagination of the Roman public, yet, as scholars such as Ramon Jiménez and Stuart Piggott attest, it was not entirely true. As Piggott explains, our knowledge of Celtic society prior to Roman invasion is limited and much of our information comes from the accounts written by Caesar and his counterparts.[6] Hence, much of what we know is tainted and Caesar was not removed from exaggerating the power of the priest and the bloodlust of their Celtic follows – it made for great storytelling and villainized a people the empire planned to conquer. [7] Plus, the Romans were not immune to cruelty: human sacrifices were not formally outlawed until the first century B.C.E. and Emperor Trajan was notorious for demanding the heads of his defeated enemies to be presented to him.[8]

Works Referenced

Caesar, Julius. The Battle for Gaul. Trans. Ann Wiseman and Peter Wiseman. Boston: David R. Godine, 1980.

Diodorus Siculus. Historical Library (Diodorus of Sicily). Trans. C.H. Oldfather. London: W. Heinemann, 1933.

Jiménez, Ramon. Caesar Against the Celts. Edison, NJ: Castle Books, 2001.

Piggott, Stuart, Glyn Daniel, and Charles McBurney, eds. France Before the Romans. Park Ridge, NJ: Noyes Press, 1973.

Strabo. Geography. Trans. H.L. Jones. London: W. Heinemann, 1917. 
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[1] Jiménez, 157.
[2] Jiménez, 35.
[3] Strabo, 2.
[4] Diodorus, 250.
[5] Caesar, 14.
[6] Piggott, 110.
[7] Jiménez, 38.
[8] Jiménez, 38.

Spirit Board Pumpkins

$20 - $25 (based on 2017 prices)

Makes two pumpkins

The farm theme for 2016’s haunt left me with numerous pumpkins and I have spent the last few years finding ways to repurpose them. For a witch display in 2017, I decided to incorporate the element of a spirit board onto the gourds. To achieve this, I used adhesive lettering to wrap the traditional design of the board around the surface of the pumpkin. Although I selected a black and purple color scheme, you can use alternate colors: for example, black and green or black and orange.

• Two medium-size artificial pumpkins (roughly twelve inches in diameter)
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in flat black
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in flat purple
• One package of alphabetical and numerical stickers in glittery black
• One package of alphabetical and numerical stickers in glittery silver
  

1. On a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, give the pumpkins three even coats of spray paint. For visual interest, paint one black and one purple. To protect the stems, wrap them in plastic prior to the painting process.

2. Once the paint has dried, adhere the alphabetical and numerical stickers to the pumpkins. You want the design to mirror that of a spirit board, so keep one nearby as a reference. If the adhesive fails to attach the lettering, especially along the pumpkins’ curves, consider using superglue. Also, purchase a set of stickers with more than one of each number and letter (this gives you a backup in case stickers tear).

3. If you want additional detail, add voodoo beads or other trinkets to the prop to enhance the theme. You could also superglue the pumpkins to ornate candlesticks to give them added height.

Crèpe Paper Circus Tent

$4 - $6 (based on 2017 prices)

Makes one tent

For the demented circus theme at my office, I needed a tent and creating one out of fabric or (as one colleague suggested) vinyl tablecloths seemed too cumbersome. I saw this idea at a baby shower, where the mother had created a canopy for the crib using a hula-hoop and blue crèpe paper. I decided to implement the concept with the tent and, to my surprise, it proved rather effective.

• One medium-size hula-hoop (roughly two-feet in diameter)
• Two rolls of red crèpe paper (roughly seventy feet per role)
• Two rolls of white crèpe paper (roughly seventy feet per role)
• Three yards of twine or yarn
  

1. Cut the twine or yarn into four two-foot sections and tie them to the hula-hoop. Their length depends on how low you want the hoop to hang. Also, their color is contingent on how well you want them to blend into the surroundings.

2. Use the twine or yarn to hang the hoop. You could utilize thumb tacks or ceiling architecture to aid in this process.

3. Tape crèpe paper to the hoop and fan the strands outward. How densely you arrange the strands will determine how thick your coverage will be: a tighter cluster will produce a fuller tent. To mirror the typical circus color scheme, alternate between red and white.

4. For additional embellishments, consider attaching a cluster of balloon to the hoop or weaving strings of popcorn or tickets through the crèpe paper.

“A Dialogue Between the Soul and Body” (A Poem)

Published in Miscellaneous Poems in 1681, Andrew Marvell’s “A Dialogue Between the Soul and Body” builds on the medieval literary tradition and imagines a heated conversation between the human body and soul.[1] Throughout the course of the poem, the soul complains about its mortal confines and hungers to be set free and wander the cosmos. In response, the body whines about the soul’s flighty nature and bemoans the illnesses it causes – fear, hatred, joy, hope, love, and sorrow – which cannot be cured by the same balms and salves as other earthly diseases.

SOUL
O who shall, from this dungeon, raise
A soul enslaved so many ways?
With bolts of bones, that fettered stands
In feet, and manacled in hands.
Here blinded with an eye; and there
Deaf with the drumming of an ear.
A soul hung up, as ’twere, in chains
Of nerves, and arteries, and veins.
Tortured, besides each other part,
In a vain head, and double heart.

BODY
O who shall me deliver whole,
From bonds of this tyrannic soul?
Which, stretched upright, impales me so,
That mine own precipice I go;
And warms and moves this needless frame:
(A fever could but do the same.)
And, wanting where its spite to try,
Has made me live to let me die.
A body that could never rest,
Since this ill spirit it possessed.

SOUL
What magic could me thus confine
Within another’s grief to pine?
Where whatsoever it complain,
I feel, that cannot feel, the pain.
And all my care itself employs,
That to preserve, which me destroys;
Constrained not only to endure
Diseases, but, what’s worse, the cure:
And ready oft the port to gain,
Am shipwrecked into health again.

BODY
But physic yet could never reach
The maladies thou me dost teach;
Whom first the cramp of hope does tear:
And then the palsy shakes of fear.
The pestilence of love does heat:
Or hatred’s hidden ulcer eat.
Joy’s cheerful madness does perplex:
Or sorrow’s other madness vex.
Which knowledge forces me to know:
And memory will not forego.
What but a soul could have the wit
To build me up for sin so fit?
So architects do square and hew,
Green trees that in the forest grew.[2]

Works Referenced

Marvell, Andrew. “A Dialogue Between the Soul and Body.” Selected Poems. Ed. Bill Hutchings. London: Routledge, 2002. 29-30.

Ray, Robert. An Andrew Marvell Companion. London: Routledge, 1998. 
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[1] Ray, 58-61.
[2] Marvell, 29-30.

“Baby” Mask

$10 - $15 (based on 2017 prices)

Makes one mask

I normally craft my own mask and costume for each haunt to correspond with the theme. Working on a haunted house in 2017 presented me with the opportunity to costume not only myself, but a collection of scare-actors. To achieve this, I made several doll masks for each one to wear and help unify the motif.

• One plastic doll mask
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat black*
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in cherry cobbler*
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat gray*
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in steel gray*
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in flat white*
• One yard of burlap
• One 4 oz. bottle of all-purpose tacky glue*
• One to two yards of black yarn
• One yard of orange yarn
• Four buttons

1. On a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, give the mask three coats of black and white paint (use black paint for the areas you plan to cover with burlap). Although I used three coats, you may want more or less depending on your desired coverage.

2. Detail the mask by smudging gray around the eyes, mouth, and nose, stippling steel gray along the edges of the cracks, and accentuating the features with black.

3. Cut a square of fabric from the burlap, cover an area on the mask with glue, and press the cloth down to conform to the mask’s contours. Leave about a one-inch boarder free for the following step. Repeat the process until the areas you desire are covered in patches of burlap.

4. Once the glue has fully dried, sew the patches’ boarders together with the yarn. While I found one inch enough, you may want to leave additional fabric during the previous step to give you more to work with.

5. Trim and fray the seams and along the mask’s edges. I found that a sheet of sandpaper can create an appropriate level of distress.

6. Brush black paint along the fabric to create shadows and age. You may want to experiment with a scrap of burlap before applying the paint to the mask.

7. Apply further details by sewing buttons along the seams, fashioning an eye out of one large button, and crafting hair with yarn. For visual impact, consider using multicolored yarn and a random assortment of buttons.

8. Use cherry cobbler paint to write baby across the mask’s forehead. You want the wording to be haphazard. To achieve this, exaggerate curves, create sharp points, and elongate certain aspects. You could also write letters backwards and deliberately misspell the word. Keep in mind, though, that the word needs to be readable, so try not to overdo your artistic flairs.

9. If the mask did not come with tie strings, you can fabricate some with extra yarn or replace the existing elastic band with a makeshift twine version for additional creepiness.

*You will not use the entire bottle’s content for this project.