Graveyard Cake

$10 - $15 (based on 2019 prices)

Makes one cake 

 

Sometimes mistakes can lead to unexpected and pleasant surprises. That was the case for this graveyard cake I made for a friend’s party. I originally intended to make a burial plot with a chocolate sheet cake; however, it crumbled while removing it from the pan, so I quickly decided to piecemeal it back together and add cherry filling for blood. 

 

Chocolate Cake

• 2 ⅓ Cups flour
• 1 Tablespoon baking powder
• ¼ Cup cocoa powder
• ¾ Teaspoon salt
• 1 ½ Cups sugar
• ½ Cup butter
• 3 Eggs
• 1 Cup milk
• 1 Teaspoon vanilla
• One six-ounce container of cherry yogurt

Cherry Filling

• ½ Cup sugar
• 1 Teaspoon lemon juice
• ½ Cup water
• 3 Tablespoons corn starch
• 5 Cups pitted cherries

Decorations

• 32 Ounces crushed Oreo cookies
• Five small yellow artificial lilies
• Three large white artificial lilies
• Three artificial leaves
• One plastic skeleton hand

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F and then, in a large bowl, sift together the baking powder, cocoa powder, flour, salt, and sugar.

2. Add the butter, cherry yogurt, eggs, milk, and vanilla to the dry ingredients and beat with a hand mixer on low for three minutes until the batter is well blended.

3. Pour the batter into a greased rectangular baking pan and bake for thirty minutes or until a golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

4. As the cake bakes, thoroughly wash and dry the leaves, lilies, and skeleton hand, since these items will be used to decorate the cake and need to be food safe.

5. Once the cake is baked, remove it from the oven and allow it to cool for at least ten minutes. Then, remove it from the pan, transfer it to a large baking sheet (or whatever platter you plan to serve it on), and break apart the middle, creating a mound with the pieces.

6. In a food processor, mince the Oreo cookies. You can chop them into fine crumbs or leave larger chucks to give the dirt a more realistic look. To prevent the cake from being too sweet, remove the cream. After this, line the outside of the cake with the fake dirt and dust the mound with the remaining pieces.

7. To make the cherry filling, begin by mixing corn starch and water together to form a paste. Then, in a large saucepan, cook the cherries, lemon juice, paste, and sugar on a stovetop until the concoction thickens. After this, you will need to chill the filling in the refrigerator for at least twelve hours before use. It might be best to perform this step first or the night before. For the time-pressed haunter, a can of store-bought pie filling will also work. After the filling is chilled, fill the mound with the mixture and pour it along the edges of the cake to look like blood. You can also reserve extra to garnish each slice once the cake is cut and served.

8. Position the leaves and lilies around the cake and insert the skeleton hand into the mound. You can also add further accents like a small ceramic tombstone or fake bugs (since these will also need to be food safe, you will want to thoroughly wash them along with the other decorative elements in step four). 

"The Death Potion" (A Poem)

From “The Deserted House” and “All Hallows Night” to “The Dead Ship” and “A Rhyme of Death’s Inn,” the occult was a major theme in the poetical works of Lizette Woodworth Reese. In this poem, the author explores the role of the jilted lover, who concocts a death potion for the woman who stole her beloved away. 

 

In Italy, 15—.

 

One drop of this, and she will not know

If she be foul or fair;

One drop, and I may bind him again

With a thread of my golden hair.

(Hear, Lord Jesus!)

 

I would that those folk across the street,

In old St. Simon’s there.

Would hush their noise: for they sing so sweet

They make this rare drop seem less rare.

(Hear, Lord Jesus!) 

 

It is May; my plum trees five

Down in the court below

Look like five little chorister boys

Tiptoe to chant, so white they blow.

(Hear, Lord Jesus!) 

 

And a butterfly like a violet

Flits through the sun and lights on the sill

Close to my hand. Are the bees about,

Or is it the wind comes down the hill?

(Hear, Lord Jesus!) 

 

But what have I to do with the May,

Or any other weather?

Or with five white plum trees? Hate and I,

And I and Hell, be yoked together.

(Hear, Lord Jesus!)

 

(One drop is sure to kill.) When she dies,

They will put the cross on her breast,

And get the golden candlesticks out

For her head and feet, and call her blest.

(Hear, Lord Jesus!)

 

But she is a thief! Do ye hear me in Heaven?

Her soul shall not come in

To those white souls. She is pitch, not snow.

Saint Simon, Saint Simon, is Theft not sin?

(Hear, Lord Jesus!)

 

For he was mine, and I was his;

(Hear, Lord Jesus!)

Though we had shame, yet had we bliss.

(Hear, Lord Jesus!) 

 

I fell, but for love, love, love;

And for love, love, love, I swear!

I, for this man and my love,

Would have wiped his feet with my hair!

(Hear, Lord Jesus!) 

 

This robber came; she lay in wait;

She sprang upon him unaware;

He thinks to wed her with a ring

To-morrow in St. Simon’s there.

(Hear, Lord Jesus!) 

 

One drop? And she shall have it then;

In a sup of her lover’s wine;

So — old things will come back again,

And I be his, and he be mine!

(Hear, Lord Jesus!)[1]

 

Works Referenced 

 

Reese, Lizette Woodworth. “The Death Potion.” A Handful of Lavender. Boston, MA: Houghton, Mufflin, and Company, 1891. 37-39.

____________________

[1] Reese, 37-39.

Mind Control Device

$40 - $50 (based on 2020 prices)

Makes one device

 

2020’s mad scientist haunt was a massive undertaking, with the laboratory needing several large pieces of equipment to truly sell the theme. To create a unified set, I decided to use similar elements in all of the pieces: copper and silver pipes and joints, lights fashioned out of Christmas ornaments, and steel-colored bases. For this version, I repurposed an old cookie jar and LED light to make a hypnotizing device the scare-actor could use to control the minds of guests.

• One 12” x 24” board of foam insulation
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in flat black
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in metallic copper
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in metallic silver
• One 4 oz. bottle of clear, all-purpose tacky glue gel*
• A random assortment of bolts, caps, rollers, and screws
• One eighteen-inch critter tube
• Five metal spickets
• One nine-inch metal cookie jar (the lid is not required)
• One plastic, eight-inch frosted light fixture with a three-inch fitter
• One battery-powered LED light
• Two clear plastic Christmas ornaments (two inches in diameter)
• One clear plastic Christmas ornament (four inches in diameter)
• One 2 oz. bottle of acrylic paint in metallic silver*
• Thirteen feet of 1/4” clear plastic tubing

1. On a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, build up layers of black and metallic silver spray paint to give the foam board the look of steel. I found it works best to apply a base coat of black to the entire prop and then add the sliver, working in quick bursts to allow parts of the black to remain visible. You can also touch up portions with additional blasts of black if the silver becomes too heavy.

2. Detail the board with the assortment of bolts and screws, applying a small dab of glue to the bottoms of their heads and pushing them into the foam. Your arrangement is entirely based on your chosen aesthetic, so you can apply as many or as little as you like.

3. On a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, give the critter tube two even coats of metallic copper spray paint. You can always vary the color to cater the prop to your haunt’s distinct color scheme.

4. Once the paint has dried, use a 5/16 bit to drill four holes into the tube: two at the base and two toward the top. Then, screw a spicket into each hole. For added security, you can coat the threads with glue beforehand.

5. Position the tube on the board and attach it with hot glue. You may need to use a collection of sturdy objects to help support the tube while the glue fully dries.

6. On a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, give the cookie jar two even coats of metallic copper spray paint to match the tube and, once the paint has dried, use a 5/16 bit to drill two holes into the container. As with step three, you can use an alternate color for this item to adhere to your haunt’s color pallet. After this, screw the last spicket into the holes, covering the threads with glue for additional support.

7. Using a pair of sharp clippers or scissors, cut a three-inch hole in the bottom of the jar large enough to accommodate the light fixture’s fitter. Because the metal will be sharp, it is best to wear safety gloves during this process.

8. Insert the fitter of the light fixture into the hole and glue it in place. It is best to purchase a plastic version of this item to prevent it from breaking during the assembly or while in use inside the haunt.

9. Determine where the cookie jar will sit on the board and mark its center. Then, place the LED light on this spot and trace its outline. With a sharp knife, cut out the hole, insert the light into its opening, and glue the item in place. You want to be able to access the battery compartment and on-off switch from the bottom of the prop.

10. Position the jar in front of the tube and glue it in place. You want to leave enough room between the container and the spickets to accommodate the tubing, so do not place them too close.

11. Cut the tops off of the Christmas ornaments and, on a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, give them a coat of metallic copper spray paint. Once this has dried, accent their tips with metallic silver paint, cut two small holes on either side, and insert screws into the openings. Then, glue the larger ornament to the top of the light fixture and the smaller versions on either side of the jar, ensuring there is enough space for the tubing.

12. Cut the tubing into six twenty-four-inch sections, glue them to the four spickets on the tube and the two smaller Christmas ornaments on either side of the jar, and then run them up into the larger Christmas ornament on the top of the light fixture. You may need to trim the tubing if it is too long to prevent the excess from bunching up inside the prop.

13. Glue a bolt in the space between the critter tube and the small Christmas ornaments, cut two six-inch sections of tubing, and run them between the items, gluing them in place. As with step twelve, you might need to trim the tubing if it is too long.

14. The prop can be enhanced with additional details to cater it toward your haunt’s needs, like swarms of cockroaches crawling across the board or green slime filling the tubes. 

*You will not use the entire bottle’s content for this project.

Mortuary Feasts of the Nyoro: A Mini-Essay

     For the Nyoro, a Bantu-speaking tribe in western Uganda, feasting extends beyond the festivities of the marriage ceremony. Following a person’s death, the immediate family members are barred from donning clean clothes, cooking, shaving, washing, and performing any labor for three days if it was a female who died or four days if it was a male. During this time, neighbors bring beer and food to the bereaved, who wait until the third or fourth day and invite the community to the deceased’s house for a feast. While burial occurs immediately upon death, internment of the head of the household is prolonged for one night, where they must rest for a final time in their home. During the mortuary feast of the fourth day, a date for an inheritance feast is set, where the patriarch’s heir is formally installed, given the deceased’s spear and stick, and provided with a speech dictating their new duties and responsibilities.[1]

 

Works Referenced

 

Beattie, John. Bunyoro: An African Kingdom. New York: Holt, Rinehart, and Winston, 1960. 65.

____________________

[1] Beattie, 65.

Surgical Saw Skull

$15 - $20 (based on 2020 prices)

Makes one skull

 

A mad scientist needs lots of hapless victims for experiments and I was eager to fill the laboratory for 2020’s haunt with as many human specimens as the doctor required. For this version, I fashioned a hapless patient impaled with a surgical saw to nestle among the towers of equipment and jars of spare parts.

• One cheap, plastic skull
• One 10 oz. can of interior/exterior, fast-drying spray paint in flat black*
• Six yards of white cheesecloth
• At least four tablespoons of dark roasted coffee grounds
• One pan large enough to soak the cloth
• One 4 oz. bottle of all-purpose tacky glue*
• One plastic surgical saw
• One 0.3 fluid ounce bottle of red food coloring*
• One 4 oz. bottle of clear, all-purpose tacky glue gel*

1. Remove the mandible from the skull and hot glue it agape to create a screaming face. To aid the process, use a sturdy object – a glass jar or tin can – to support the skull as the glue dries. You may need to apply multiple coats to ensure a firm hold.

2. On a newspaper-lined surface in a well-ventilated area, give the skull two even coats of black spray paint. This will give the prop a uniform color in case portions of it show through the cheese cloth applied in step four.

3. Boil enough water to completely submerge the cheesecloth and pour it into the pan. Add the coffee. The longer you allow the coffee to brew, the darker the stain will become. Likewise, greater amounts of coffee will produce a richer stain. Submerge the fabric in the coffee mixture and soak it until it reaches the color you desire. I soaked mine for eight hours (long enough to give it a slight tint) and scattered the coffee grounds over the top to add spots. Remove the cloth from the water and allow it to dry.

4. Starting at the front of the skull, glue the cheesecloth to the prop. I found that this step works best if you move in stages: apply a layer of glue to one section, hold the fabric down until it sticks, and then repeat the process. You want to ensure the entire piece is adequately covered and that the holes for the eyes and nose are still visible.

5. After the glue has dried, cut a long slit into the crown of the skull, slip the blade of the surgical saw into the opening, and glue it in place. Depending on the weight of the saw, you may need to play with its position and how deeply it enters the skull to prevent the prop from being top heavy.

6. In a plastic container (because the food coloring will stain, use something disposable or that you won’t mind dying), pour in your desired amount of clear glue gel and slowly add red food coloring to the solution until it achieves the sanguine hue you desire. To give the blood further density, add blue food coloring and mix well.

7. On a newspaper-lined surface, apply the blood glue to the prop and allow it to fully dry. You can use an old spoon or plastic utensil to strategically dribble the liquid along chosen areas or pour it haphazardly for a gory mess.

8. Depending on your haunt’s theme, you can embellish the prop further with swarms of maggots crawling across its surface or attach a specimen tag. 

*You will not use the entire bottle’s content for this project.

"The Lord of Dunkerron" (A Poem)

Thomas Crofton Croker’s poem, “The Lord of Dunkerron,” blends history and mythology into an entertaining narrative. Built in the thirteenth century, Dunkerron Castle became the family seat of the O’Sullivan Mór family during the sixteenth century until it was seized by the Act for the Settlement of Ireland in 1652 following the Cromwellian conquest of Ireland.[1] In the poem, one of the O’Sullivan clan is romanced by a water spirit to return with her to her palace of crystal; however, she fails to gain the blessing of her race’s chief to sanctify the union between her and a human and is killed, with the palace melting into the air.[2]

 

The lord of Dunkerron — O’Sullivan More,

Why seeks he at midnight the sea-beaten shore?

His bark lies in haven, his bounds are asleep;

No foes are abroad on the land or the deep.

 

Yet nightly the lord of Dunkerron is known

On the wild shore to watch and to wander alone;

For a beautiful spirit of ocean, ‘t is said,

The lord of Dunkerron would win to his bed.

 

When, by moonlight, the waters were hush’d to repose,

That beautiful spirit of ocean arose;

Her hair, full of lustre, just floated and fell

O’er her bosom, that heav’d with a billowy swell. 

 

Long, long had he lov’d her — long vainly essay’d

To lure from her dwelling the coy ocean maid;

And long had he wander’d and watch’d by the tide,

To claim the fair spirit O’Sullivan’s bride! 

 

The maiden she gazed on the creature of earth,

Whose voice in her breast to a feeling gave birth;

Then smiled; and, abashed as a maiden might be,

Looking down, gently sank to her home in the sea.

 

Though gentle that smile, as the moonlight above,

O’Sullivan felt ‘t was the dawning of love,

And hope came on hope, spreading over his mind,

Like the eddy of circles her wake left behind. 

 

The lord of Dunkerron he plunged in the waves,

And sought through the fierce rush of waters, their caves;

The gloom of whose depth studded over with spars,

Had the glitter of midnight when lit up by stars.

 

Who can tell or can fancy the treasures that sleep

Intombed in the wonderful womb of the deep?

The pearls and the gems, as if valueless, thrown

To lie ‘mid the sea-wrack concealed and unknown. 

 

Down, down went the maid, — still the chieftain pursued;

Who flies must be followed ere she can be wooed.

Untempted by treasures, unawed by alarms,

The maiden at length he has clasped in his arms!

 

They rose from the deep by a smooth-spreading strand,

Whence beauty and verdure stretch’d over the land.

‘T was an isle of enchantment! and lightly the breeze,

With a musical murmur, just crept through the trees.

 

The haze-woven shroud of that newly born isle,

Softly faded away, from a magical pile,

A palace of crystal, whose bright-beaming sheen

Had the tints of the rainbow — red, yellow, and green.

 

And grottoes, fantastic in hue and in form,

Were there, as flung up — the wild sport of the storm;

Yet all was so cloudless, so lovely, and calm,

It seemed but a region of sunshine and balm.

 

“Here, here shall we dwell in a dream of delight,

Where the glories of earth and of ocean unite!

Yet, loved son of earth! I must from thee away;

There are laws which e’en spirits are bound to obey!

 

“Once more must I visit the chief of my race,

His sanction to gain ere I meet thy embrace.

In a moment I dive to the chambers beneath:

One cause can detain me — one only — ‘t is death!”

 

They parted in sorrow, with vows true and fond;

The language of promise had nothing beyond.

His soul all on fire, with anxiety burns:

The moment is gone — but no maiden returns.

 

What sounds from the deep meet his terrified ear —

What accents of rage and of grief does he hear?

What sees he? what change has come over the flood —

What tinges its green with a jetty of blood?

 

Can he doubt what the gush of warm blood would explain?

That she sought the consent of her monarch in vain!

For see all around him, in white foam and froth,

The waves of the ocean boil up in their wroth!

 

The palace of crystal has melted in air,

And the dies of the rainbow no longer are there;

The grottoes with vapour and clouds are o’ercast,

The sunshine is darkness — the vision has past! 

 

Loud, loud was the call of his serfs for their chief;

They sought him with accents of wailing and grief:

He heard, and he struggled — a wave to the shore,

Exhausted and faint bears O’Sullivan More![3]

 

Works Referenced

 

Croker, Thomas Crofton. “The Lord of Dunkerron.” Fairy Legends and Traditions of the South of Ireland. 2nd ed. London: John Murray, 1838. 192-195. 

 

O’Sullivan, Gary. The Oak and Serpent. Gold Stag Communications, 2007. 

 

Worcester County Musical Association. Thirty-Sixth Annual Festival in Mechanics Hall, Worcester, Massachusetts. Worcester, MA: Worcester County Musical Association, 1893.

____________________

[1] O’Sullivan, 269.

[2] Worcester County Musical Association, 22.

[3] Croker, 192-195.